Ten Days Of Horror Films – Day #5: Slasher
Please note: Ten Days Of Horror Films is compiled into ten separate lists which identify individual genres of horror with each day in the list containing three movies: my favourite movie from that specific genre, an honourable mention, and a big ol’ loser.
Six more sleeps until Halloween! But good luck sleeping after I give you some scary slasher films to watch. Slasher films walk a very fine line between being either really good or very horrible at the whole angle of “here’s a person who just kills a bunch of people…enjoy!”. I’ll admit that in my younger days, slasher films were probably my favourite type of horror film, but now that I’m older, I want my slasher to give me a pretty solid reason as to why these people are being killed. If there’s no motive whatsoever and the whole movie is just kill after kill for seemingly no reason, then what am I doing with my life? You might be shocked at my stinker, I warn you now, but I hope you’ll enjoy my top picks.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Freddy Krueger kills you in your dreams and has his own theme song. That is so bad ass. This movie not only has a disfigured psychopath chasing you in your dreams, it also uses some of the scariest scenarios we have in nightmares to add to the terror these poor kids feel when they’re being hunted and eventually killed. Not being able to run in your dreams? Try not being able to run from a pedophile with a melted face and a glove made of knives. If that doesn’t sell you, try this: Johnny Depp in a crop top. Hilarious. Based on what I said in my intro, I need a reason for why this maniac is going after kids. That reason is there twofold: revenge and he’s a creepy ol’ pervert. You have to appreciate the death scenes in this movie which prove to be original, gory, and terrifying yet entertaining; you don’t want to look, but you just have to! Watch this before bed time….pleasant dreams (more like pleasant screams, amirite?).
Holy smokes. This could almost tie for first place, it’s that good. That soundtrack alone makes the movie a winner. If you just watched the trailer, I’m not spoiling anything for you by revealing that Michael Myers started killing people when he was just a kid. He’s just a crazy person from birth, now grown up and escaped from an institution and back for some more murder at his childhood home. You might look at the release year on this and think “ugh, ’70s?”, but take it from someone who also dislikes movies pre-’80s; this is a good watch. Before Jamie Lee Curtis was hocking yogurt, she wasn’t taking crap from the likes of a dude in a William Shatner mask. Give this one a whirl; you will not regret it.
Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter (aka IV)
I just watched this movie the other night, and just like that, it’s on my poop list. The first Jason Voorhees movie I saw was Freddy vs. Jason, released in 2003, so I never really knew the whole story behind Jason. I did know that people were terrified of this lumbering murderer in a hockey mask, but I didn’t know his whole origin story or anything. Finally in 2011, I saw the very first Friday The 13th…and was pretty disappointed. Fair, Jason wasn’t the killer in that movie, but it still lacked something for me. The whole reason behind the killing seemed pretty flimsy to me, and each murder scene was just “meh”. The 2nd and 3rd installment in this franchise didn’t get any better (and they were cranked out lightning quick with FT13th released in 1980, #2 in 1981, #3 in 1982 and The Final Chapter in 1984). This installment in particular lacks substance in a massive way. I still can’t tell you whether the murders took place at Crystal Lake, and there are so many questions I have. Why have Jason hunting two separate groups? Why can no one hear this giant dude walking around? How is he hiding behind things? Under things? Was he hovering in one scene? How did Corey Feldman’s character make such super awesome masks and animatronics when it’s only been a handful of years since he was using those big-ass pencils at school? Why did a dog have to die? Why is Jason indestructible? So much hate for this stupid movie! Don’t watch it. Just watch the clip below…it’s the ONLY good thing in this film.
Well, well, well, now that I’m sure you think I’m crazy for not liking a movie that it seems everyone loves, I want to know if you disagree with me. Do you love Jason Voorhees and Mama Voorhees? What slasher film makes you get a taste for blood? Are you scared to sleep tonight because Freddy’s coming for you? 😉