Hey Netflix! You Don’t Knoooow Me!

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology. But sometimes algorithms on certain sites or services and pieces of hardware (*cough* iPod *cough*) think they can pinpoint what you want, like they know you. Well guess what? They don’t know me. Since I don’t want to get into a whole debate about iPods, I figure I’ll take on Netflix since they sent me a recommendation the other day that made me say to my computer monitor, “What? Why would I? That makes no…”. Let’s see what Netflix recommends to me and I’ll tell you how far off they are on my tastes.

Here’s the recommendation that set me off:

Credit: netflix.com

Credit: netflix.com

First things first: Ed Harris or haggered Daniel Craig? Now that I’m finished amusing myself, the breakdown on this movie is that Ed Harris’s wife is killed and an illegal Mexican immigrant is the suspect…or is he? I watch my fair share of thrillers on Netflix, but this recommendation seems to not be based on my tastes, but just on the fact that this movie needs to make some kind of money. I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s never heard of this movie before. But Ed Harris has gots to get paid. Truman Show cash flow doesn’t last forever.

Pictures credit: netflix.com

Pictures credit: netflix.com

Though I would be ashamed, I would still admit if I watched any teen dramas on Netflix at all. But I haven’t. Not a single one. Not even an adult drama. Why would they recommend this for me? Guess what, Netflix? I don’t enjoy teenagers, and I certainly don’t care about their “drama”. Stop saying these are top picks for me! Gossip Girl…I oughta punch you right in the throat, Netflix.

Credit: netflix.com

Credit: netflix.com

There really aren’t enough words to describe how much I hate musicals or any movie with musical outbursts in it, so I’ll list some things I’d rather do than sit through a musical. 1) Slice into my thumb with my kitchen knife – I’ve done it before by accident, and I’d do it again because getting stitches was much more fun than any musical. 2) Go bra shopping – if there was a hell, that would be the first level of it because bra shopping is brutal death; still better than a musical. 3) Go to a baby shower. That’s a tough one because we’re almost tied for unpleasantness there. Why can’t we watch movies at a baby shower? Why do people insist on playing weird baby themed games? Why can’t we watch Look Who’s Talking? Doesn’t anyone else think that’d be way cooler than some Pinterest regurgitation of cutesy baby activities? Anyways, musicals. No, Netflix. No.

Credit: netflix.com

Pictures credit: netflix.com

I have a respect for period pieces. The set and costume design normally have amazing attention to detail and when done well can make you feel like you are right there, experiencing how life was in the past. But I don’t like watching period-centric movies or shows because I find no romanticism in the past. I’ve never watched one on Netflix, so these picks for me are probably based on their popularity on Netflix, not on any of the things I’ve watched or rated.

What about you? What does Netflix recommend to you that makes you think “Netflix, pull yourself together! You’re recommending me garbage!”?

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